#1 Dear Lord, all I ask is for a chance to prove that winning the lottery won’t make me a bad person.
#2 You’re the reason that this country has to put directions on shampoo.
#3 “Sorry for the mean, awful accurate things I said.”
#4 The ‘L’ in my luck has been replaced with an ‘F’.
#5 I’m not shy, I’m holding back my awesomeness so I don’t intimidate you.
#6 I don’t have a welcome mat at my door because I’m not a liar.
#7 Sometimes I want to go back in time and punch myself in the face.
#8 They call it a “selfie” because “narcissistie” is too hard to spell.
#9 Don’t be sad, because sad backwards is das, and das not good.
#10 Don’t wait for opportunity. Create it.
10 Furniture Memes! #9 Kitty Jesus Rising From The Couch.